I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
