Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
