do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
