Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
