Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
