At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
