I'm gonna have a badass scar
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
