Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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