i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
