Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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