I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
