I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
