I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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