Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
they need to just BURY HIM!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
