In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
