So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
