Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
