it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize