they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize