3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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