conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i think i have two assholes
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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