you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize