Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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