I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize