Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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