I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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