i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize