she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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