I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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