no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
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I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
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You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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