I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
