that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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