Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
