I think i peed on brittanys purse
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
did i just pee glitter
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
