So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
