An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Randomize
