he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
