3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Randomize