I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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