Swine flu is the new snow day.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
