I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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