i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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