The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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