Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We left an ass print on the piano.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
