Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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