She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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