hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
