16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize