I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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