my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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