Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize