I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
