I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize