Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
