even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
