Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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