You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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