WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
i now understand why vodka
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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