Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize