I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize