If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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