He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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